Is it just me or every single twenty-years-old has no fight spirit in them? like- literal fighting spirit that infires all the time rather than the one that is ambiguous between life and dead.
Basically what I'm doing is- I was trying to read some inspirational+insfiring materials for a real blog post before my 21st birthday. I was thinking about gifting myself a good heed sections in my blog dedicated for twenty-one years old me. this year, I'm trying to play it cool as I am past over my hwa-yan-yeon-hwa (read: the most beautiful moment in life aka youth) excitement so yeah, I am openly thinking about my birthday from a third person view. I am not going to be corcerned about what other people think of it but my view (as the third person) matters #myviewmatter
It might sounds confusing but roughly, I am going to treat myself better than anyone else this birthday. So rather than just having the past-kimah, present-kimah and future-kimah involved, I will let the main me which is myself (the biggest portion of me aka real kimah) to control the event and lead the whole plan. I just want to make 21 years old kimah to feel appreciated just as 17 years old (peak age) kimah. I want her to know that even though she's lacking, I will still protect her.
Enough for the event spoiler. I dont want to be spoiled by myself for this big event. Haha. Thus frankly speaking while looking for the materials for the event, I was searching for articles about how sometimes human can feel much smaller than their younger self. For example, why do we change from being all mighty about our self then after we grew and things don't go the way we ought it would be, then only disappointments and regrets are left. Generally, I was looking for articles and inspiration along that mindset but honetsyly I was a bit taken aback because I can't find the exact materials. Nothing along the planned concept. And you know what's worse? The search results take me to articles listing the things I want to tell my younger self so they'll learn EXCUSE ME WHAT? What I am looking for is THAT list but written from my younger self address to my present and future self not the way around!
Which makes me think- am I the only adult living in regrets from the past? Is everyone else succeed and happy with the present self? Tbh, I am not that disappointed and regretting my present life I am on a mission to tell my present and future life that we're doing goooooooood and that even if whatever happen- as long as you believe in you (or more like I believe in me) then I GOT YOUR BACK! That's the concept for my birthday event. That's that.
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What exactly is my purpose on writing this? I thought I was going to rant about how none of the search result meet my expectation but it doesn't sounds so. This post is more like urm spoilers to my birthday event? Haha yeah maybe. But whatever it is, things had been said (or accurately written down) so Imma post this up though ;)
And I am really hoping that I can give me an amazing birthday event ever. Since I have no good camera, no laptop (my charger cord snapped T____T) I'm not sure but I hope it will be a good memory from twenty-years old me <3
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