كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَائِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ

"Every soul shall taste death."
[Quran 29:57]

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We were walking back from Surau An-Nur as usual.
And on the way we decided to go to the ATM to withdraw some money since there's not many students lining up tonight.

Meme withdrew. I withdrew. Has withdrew. Ana withdrew. Then we left the are to our next station; koop. While walking in front of Pentad, we were chatting, joking when suddenly Ana read a text message and she froze. It was a message from our class vice president, Oyah.

"Assalamualaikum.. Al-Fatihah kpd ayah sahabat kita, Masihta yg telah kembali ke rahmatullah ptg tadi. smga arwah ditempatkan dlm kalangan org beriman."

 We froze. Speechless.
Especially Haslina. She was literally Syitah's classmate from high school. Ana and Has called some friends for confirmation. Innalillahi wainnailaihirajiun.

Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return.

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Indeed. It was shocking. And Has said that as far as she knew her father wasn't ill or something and from what Oyah told Ana, her father was okay at the evening. Allah knows best. Kullu nafsi zaiqatul maut. Every soul shall taste death. It's just a matter of time. All of us shall taste death and we did not know when is our turn.

 

Be prepared.

No one knows when is our turn except Allah 'azzawajalla.

Allahumma ahyina bil iman, waamitna bil iman. Wah syurna ma'al iman. Waadkhilnal jannata ma'al iman..

Again, Al Fatihah to my friend's father En. Parman.  And help to pray that my friend is strong enough to go through this. Our mid semester test is next week. Allahhh :'(

 

Never assume, ask.

Just because I feel like sharing APG's latest post :)

Idk but APG's posts are usually close to heart. Everytime I feel like reading his blog, there must be reasons. Might be his post is meant to me, or to the people near myself.

*senyummmmmmmmm*

Ouh, title is random. It's in his latest post. Hlovate aite? Haha and because I'm currenly re-reading Rooftop Rant. Though I miss Contengan Jalanan. Phewwww :')

Attached.

Experiencing Without Attachment

 

Accept the moment for what it is. Don’t try to turn it into yesterday; that moment’s gone. Don’t plot about how you can make the moment last forever. Just seep into the moment and enjoy it because it will eventually pass. Nothing is permanent. Fighting that reality will only cause you pain.

Believe now is enough. It’s true—tomorrow may not look the same as today, no matter how much you try to control it. A relationship might end. You might have to move. You’ll deal with those moments when they come. All you need right now is to appreciate and enjoy what you have. It’s enough.

Call yourself out. Learn what it looks like to grasp at people, things, or circumstances so you can redirect your thoughts when they veer toward attachment. When you dwell on keeping, controlling, manipulating, or losing something instead of simply experiencing it.

Define yourself in fluid terms. We are all constantly evolving and growing. Define yourself in terms that can withstand change. Defining yourself by possessions, roles, and relationships breeds attachment because loss entails losing not just what you have, but also who you are.

Enjoy now fully. No matter how much time you have in an experience or with someone you love, it will never feel like enough. So don’t think about it in terms of quantity—aim for quality, instead. Attach to the idea of living well moment-to-moment. That’s an attachment that can do you no harm.

Letting Go of Attachment to People

 

Friend yourself. It will be harder to let people go when necessary if you depend on them for your sense of worth. Believe you’re worthy whether someone else tells you or not. This way, you relate to people—not just how they make you feel about yourself.

Go it alone sometimes. Take time to foster your own interests, ones that nothing and no one can take away. Don’t let them hinge on anyone or anything other than your values and passion.

Hold lightly. This one isn’t just about releasing attachments—it’s also about maintaining healthy relationships. Contrary to romantic notions, you are not someone’s other half. You’re separate and whole. You can still hold someone to close to your heart; just remember, if you squeeze too tightly, you’ll both be suffocated.

Interact with lots of people. If you limit yourself to one or two relationships they will seem like your lifelines. Everyone needs people, and there are billions on the planet. Stay open to new connections. Accept the possibility your future involves a lot of love whether you cling to a select few people or not.

Justify less. I can’t let him go—I’ll be miserable without him. I’d die if I lost her—she’s all that I have. These thoughts reinforce beliefs that are not fact, even if they feel like it. The only way to let go and feel less pain is to believe you’re strong enough to carry on if and when things change.

Letting Go of Attachment to the Past

 

Know you can’t change the past. Even if you think about over and over again. Even if you punish yourself. Even if you refuse to accept it. It’s done. The only way to relieve your pain about what happened is to give yourself relief. No one and nothing else can create peace in your head for you.


Love instead of fearing. When you hold onto the past, it often has to do with fear: fear you messed up your chance at happiness, or fear you’ll never know such happiness again. Focus on what you love and you’ll create happiness instead of worrying about it.  

Make now count. Instead of thinking of what you did or didn’t do, the type of person you were or weren’t, do something worthwhile now. Be someone worthwhile now. Take a class. Join a group. Help someone who needs it. Make today so full and meaningful there’s no room to dwell on yesterday.

Narrate calmly. How we experience the world is largely a result of how we internalize it. Instead of telling yourself dramatic stories about the past—how hurt you were or how hard it was—challenge your emotions and focus on lessons learned.  That’s all you really need from yesterday.

Open your mind. We often cling to things, situations or people because we’re comfortable with them. We know how they’ll make us feel, whether it’s happy or safe. Consider that new things, situations and people may affect you the same. The only way to find out is to let go of what’s come and gone.

Letting Go of Attachment to Outcomes

 

Practice letting things be. That doesn’t mean you can’t actively work to create a different tomorrow. It just means you make peace with the moment as it is, without worrying that something’s wrong with you or your life, and then operate from a place of acceptance.

Question your attachment. If you’re attached to a specific outcome—a dream job, the perfect relationship—you may be indulging an illusion about some day when everything will be lined up for happiness. No moment will ever be worthier of your joy than now because that’s all there ever is.

Release the need to know. Life entails uncertainty, no matter how strong your intention. Obsessing about tomorrow wastes your life because there will always be a tomorrow on the horizon. There are no guarantees about how it will play out. Just know it hinges on how well you live today.

Serve your purpose now. You don’t need to have x-amount of money in the bank to live a meaningful life right now. Figure out what matters to you, and fill pockets of time indulging it. Audition for community theater. Volunteer with animals. Whatever you love, do it. Don’t wait—do it now.

Teach others. It’s human nature to hope for things in the future. Even the most enlightened people fall into the habit from time to time. Remind yourself to stay open to possibilities by sharing the idea with other people. Blog about it. Talk about it. Tweet about it. Opening up helps keep you open.

Letting Go of Attachment to Feelings

 

Understand that pain is unavoidable. No matter how well you do everything on this list, or on your own short list for peace, you will lose things that matter and feel some level of pain. But it doesn’t have to be as bad as you think. As the saying goes, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

Vocalize your feelings. Feel them, acknowledge them, express them, and then let them naturally transform. Even if you want to dwell in anger, sadness or frustration—especially if you feel like dwelling—save yourself the pain and commit to working through them.

Write it down. Then toss it out. You won’t always have the opportunity to express your feelings to the people who inspired them. That doesn’t mean you need to swallow them. Write in a journal. Write a letter and burn it. Anything that helps you let go.


Xie Xie. It means thank you in Chinese. Fully embrace your happy moments—love with abandon; be so passionate it’s contagious. If a darker moment follows, remember: it will teach you something, and soon enough you’ll be in another happy moment to appreciate. Everything is cyclical.

Yield to peace. The ultimate desire is to feel happy and peaceful. Even if you think you want to stay angry, what you really want is to be at peace with what happened or will happen. It takes a conscious choice. Make it.

Zen your now. Experience, appreciate, enjoy, and let go to welcome another experience.
It won’t always be easy. Sometimes you’ll feel compelled to attach yourself physically and mentally to people and ideas—as if it gives you some sense of control or security. You may even strongly believe you’ll be happy if you struggle to hold onto what you have. That’s OK. It’s human nature.

Just know you have the power to choose from moment to moment how you experience things you enjoy: with a sense of ownership, anxiety, and fear, or with a sense of freedom, peace and love.


The most important question: what do you choose right now?

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What?

Yes it's fully copied from here.

The air feels somehow depressed these days. All the blackposts hoho

I need something uplifting.

If I cant get it in real life so at least virtually.

 

Alhamdulillahirabbilálamin.. Wassalamu aála asyrafil anbiyai warmursalin.. Waa'la alihi wasahbihi ajmain. Amma baa'du.

Sidang hadirin sekalian.. eceehehh, macam khutbah Jumaat ehhehe ^^v

Today's 10/12/13. (Wow tomorrow's 11/12/13 coooooolio) PSPM Sem I result is out mbahhahahhaa. Gila nnaling tadi. Eh tak, dari semalam sebenarnya.

Takuuuut.

But in summary. Alhamdulillah. This is enough for me. No I'm not categorized in those tiptop 4rata students but still, I'm at my ordinary level. I'm grateful enoughhhhhhh..

Thinking about how bad my Math papers are, I couldn't even express how thankful I am to get B for that subject MBAHHAHAHHA Cg Suhaimi Cg Jamaliah thankyouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Forever a bioslogos-biased; A for Biology yay Cg Siti Noooor i lapyouuuu and also Cg Faezah yay for Science Comp!! 

Chemy, thankyou Cg Norazah, Cg Suhaimi and my fellow practicummate; Nisa! (the only 4rata student in my class wohooo) thankyouuuuuuu <3

And Mr Ashok hewhewwwwwwww I got A for English yada yada and of course P.Agama and Dinamika :P

And wow first post for Sem 2 ehh? And Sem had begun 3 weeks ago. Bad Kimah iz complaining lewls. Pleazzzzzz I busy okayyyyyyy.

Haha kbye  /bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

just a face in the crowd

Assalamualaikum.
Dirumah.
First semester break. Hewww PSPM 1 dah lepas.
Don't even ask about it.
I don't even know how to explain it.
Sobs.

Matematik. Allahu Allahh.
Teruk. Worst. Terrific.
Entahlah. I don'even know what to say.
After all those practises. All those things yg Cg. Suhaimi ajar. Hewww how am I going to survive Semester 2? Allahu Allah give me strength to overcome every obstacle insyaAllah.

Bio. Alhamdulillah. Science Comp. Alhamdulillah. Chemy, couldnt say much but Alhamdulillah.
My definition of Alhamdulillah is not the same as other people I guess. To me, I am grateful if I could fill the exam paper more than half. Yeah really.

:)

Tettttttttttt.
Dah dah pasal PSPM.
Hehee Sekarang kat rumah. 3 minggu cuti.
Seminggu dah nak lepas.
What I've been doing?
K-drama, K-show, J-drama, J-movie.

*deeeeeeeep sigh*

I know, it's not worth it right.
Should have occupy it worthly. Tapi what can I do? What should I do?

(^^);v

So nothing much to say. Except for the fact that Soulsisters are missing me hohoho their life must be incomplete without my existence MBAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA well yeah, same goes to mine heeeee guise, IMYSM <3

So I guess.. that's the end of my rants hohoho.

Saje je. Nak menulis X)

 

.__.)v

On positive side; jumaat depan balikkkk ^^;

have you ever?

suddenly lose the spirit to study?
feel to let go of everything?
feel you cannot go on?
feel you're lost?
feel like "screw everything. i'm not going to continue this!"?

Cause i am right now.
4 days to final exam for semester 1.
And i don't even know what exactly my mind is thinking.
I feel insecure i don't even know what to do.

The thoughts of "let's stop. screw the world and it's contents" and "seriously? what about your responsibility towards deen? towards family? towards yourself? what about all those pains and sacrifices you and the people around you made? yada yada yada" is now directly proportional.

Is your devastated heart or responsibility awared heart bigger?

That's the red light. I keep halting at the question because i don't know the answer myself.

..

There's this Islamic lecture I love to listen to. The highlighted part is:

 the most difficult pill for the muslims to swallow is article #6 of our deen; the qadr of Allah subhanahuwataa'la. we don't want to admit it. - Imam Qasir Khan

We have to give each other reminders.. Allah gave us the name Insaan which is literally translated the creature that has to be reminded. Because out of everything that Allah created, we are the only one that forgets.

This rant is becoming random.


Keep on ranting keep going.

The most pathetic part of me having a crisis right now is the fact that I realize that I should not. I am aware of this karat in my heart and I am indeed aware that I must get rid of it. But I could not.

I read those motivational and inspirational quotes between lines. I agreed but I didn't feel it as I were in the past. Allahu Allah. The amount of black dots (sins) in my heart must has gradually increasing T_______T


.. Honestly I think I need someone to talk to. Or at least someone who could talk to me. Maybe after all what I needis some kind of affection? No, I'm not trying to be an attention seeker right now. It's just that.. I'm slowly losing control of my own mind.

Ojjorago?

Or maybe all I need is to let it out. Sometimes a trouble becomes troubles when you keep it within yourself. And when you think too deeply about it.

Yes Nikhakimah, definitely! Even if there's no one, Allah is still there. Alll the time. You just have to stop distancing yourself from Him with all the 'lagha'ness.

Allahu Allah.
How exactly can I forget that.

Insaan.

La haulawala quwwata illabillah.
I am indeed weak.

Ya muqallibal qulub, tsabit qulubi a'la dinik wafi thaa'tik.
Ya Allah Yg Maha Membolak balikkan hati, tetapkan hatiku pada agamaMu dan mentaa'tiMu.

Ya Allah janganlah Engkau pesongkan hati kami sesudah Engkau memberi hidayah kepada kami.
Amin ya Rabb.