Perginya seorang murabbi

It was a Friday night. A calm and peaceful Friday night when the news of Tok Guru Nik Abdul Aziz leaves the dunya to met his Rabb reached us. We were prepared for this news, we knew he didn't have much time left but for a moment, no one speaks a word. Everybody seems blank and trying to gather our minds together. He's gone. He really is.

I couldn't talk much about him, I've not know him personally nor did him. Yes we're related by blood somehow but a far relative (after all, we both have Nik in our name). But to be honest, from the day I was born, my family respect him so much and he's so close to our hearts that when we were young we called him Ayoh Zik instead of Tok Guru. As I could recall, he came to our house many times whether it's for wedding, newborn ritual ceremonies (aqiqah) or just for visiting. So to us, he's not just our Menteri Besar, he is our ahli dewan undangan negeri (ADUN), a murabbi, an elder relative, someone I would put in the same level of my family. 

Every time he came to our house for aqiqah, I wished to have him doing the aqiqah ritual to my child. Then I realized the age gap is too long it might not worked out. Next time he came for my brother/sister's wedding, I wished he would be the man who shake my husband's hand for akad. Then seeing he's growing old I said to myslef, this might didn't work out too. Then each time it's time for General Election (GE), being someone who always butt in with the election process I am, I was determined to give my first official vote to him as our ADUN! And I couldn't wait for the moment. Yet Allah says otherwise. he will go and meet Him sooner than that. And I'm still not eligible to vote for upcoming PRK #Chempaka. And since semester 2 is around the corner, I might couldn't give as much manpower for Chempaka by-election. Allahhhh :'( The only thing I was able to do is doing the ritual prayer (solat jenazah) for him. With other millions of people. May Allah count this one for him amin ya rabbal 'alamin.

Back to when I was in primary school. Everytime we were asked about who we idolize, I couldn't help but to say Tok Guru Nik Abdul Aziz but my friends would stop me, my alter-ego would stop me. Because apparently, he is someone associated with PAS. And at that age, it is never a right thing to say something associated with PAS because you'll get marked by teachers and getting a student fund is almost impossible (well literally the money is from BN government said some 'educated' katak bawah tempurung) then. Well that is the logic that we all knew all. So I frequently said a random great people I've heard of (eg: Yusuf Qardhawi i'm not even sure I really knew him at that time though *smile*) but never anyone from Malaysian leaders! I guess I know the feeling feel-wronged from primary school then.

Well when I was in Maahad, that is absolutely far away from being a problem! You can even talk politics HAHHAHAH HA HA *clear throats* well yess with your friends. And having to meet TGNA a few times make me quite a lady among my friends :)

And last night, I was given the chance to reach TGNA's house. there's already thousands of people, wishing too see him for the last time. He was placed in a room but I didn't walk in. I couldnt drag my foot to enter the room. I don't feel deserved. He's in the heart of millions I don't feel deserved and I'm afraid I would burst into tears upon seeing him. His face would stay in my heart.

And the first thing I noticed when I walked into TGNA's house, three girls aged around 7-9 years old (TGNA's grandaughters) were reciting Yassin in a corner. Quietly. Afraid that they might be a nuisance to their parents I guess. That's when I realized; when Allah take a star from us, He grant us more of young and bright stars to lead the next ummah generation. He took back one, he gives thousands so make sure we are included in that thousands! Allahuakbar.

 

O Allah, You've granted us a very great man. Now Ya Rabbi grant him the best of jannah and give us strength to overcome the upcoming days. Amin ya rabbal álamin.

Allahumaghfirlahu warhamhu wa'afihi wa'fu anhu. O Allah! Forgive him, bestow mercy upon him, pardon him, accord him a noble provision and make his grave spacious. Amin ya Allah.